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Daily Deviations by thorns

Awesome texts I could never write by DeathOfASalesLlama

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Submitted on
December 21, 2011
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166 (who?)
Atnas the bad, mysterious, sly
Travels the world on his sleigh in the sky.
Santa's old friend, now inglorious foe,
This age old story is something to know:
They started out well, as partners in crime
Until one Christmas when Atnas got time.

Santa and Atnas were felons you see,
They robbed, plundered, stole - things so dastardly.
The plans were devised and thought out by Old Nick
As getaway driver he drove oh so quick.
The strong and fit Atnas brought life to the schemes,
And there was the set up of our daring team.

Their usual targets were the rich, banks and stores,
"We have little money, you won't miss some of yours"
This was the thought behind Santa's bad ways
(And he says he'll regret for the rest of his days).
Atnas was greedy, unbelievably so!
He suggested stealing from children, but Santa said no.

They argued and argued 'til blue in the face
Santa shot off enraged but Atnas gave chase
They flew round the world at neck breaking speed
Shouting and bawling but neither'd concede
Then Santa hatched a magnificent plan
To go straight and get rid of this odious man.

He stopped in his tracks and pretended to think
And then said "I've got it!" with a grin and a wink
"We'll go to each house with a naughty young child
And steal all their presents!" Atnas then smiled.
The two men shook hands and began to prepare
Then Santa snuck out with such silence and care.

He went to the lawmen and confessed their tale
They agreed that Atnas needed putting in jail.
They discussed the details for the next night
With Santa relieved he was at last doing right.
He crept back home so as not to upset
Atnas' deep sleep and then started to fret.

When the next day arrived Santa felt really quite ill
But the plan all went well, they caught Atnas with skill.
They turned to Santa, increasingly nervous,
And said for his help he got community service.
Every year at Christmas instead of stealing from kids
He had to give them all gifts – if they'd been good that is.

Santa was calmed, he liked that idea
Then swiftly recruited his trademark reindeer
And so that's how Santa first got his commission
But alas! This summer Atnas escaped from his prison,
So you'd better be good because if not its doubtless
That you'll get a visit from Santa's foe Atnas!
A little bit of fun for #TheWritersMeow's Christmas contest!

Santa used to be a criminal with his friend Atnas, but eventually he decided to do the right thing and turn him in!

Was tempted to put 'idealogically sensitive' because Santa's a good guy really and any suggestion otherwise feels like a bad thing.

It was a lot of fun to write (even if it isn't the best piece of lit in the world) and I hope you get a smile out of reading it :love:

Merry Christmas, everyone! :holly:
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Daily Deviation

Given 2012-12-11
Santa versus Atnas by =squeezelouise is a fun and interesting take on Santa Claus. ( Featured by thorns )
KLEWART Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
This is Cleverly , Incredibly Creative ... Even down to the names ..that fact that Atnas is Santa Spelled backwards give it a simple but enchanting creativity lol i really like this short story of how Santa came to be lol ..Thanks for sharing such awesome work
squeezelouise Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Yay! I'm so glad you like it :la: Thank you for the wonderful comment too! Its always really great to hear what people think :huggle:
LadyofGaerdon Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2012  Professional Writer
:wave: Hi! Your piece has been featured as inspiration in #Lit-Visual-Alliance's Winter Alliance Contest article! Please :+fav: the article to bring more attention to the features and the contest. Thanks! :)
Blacksand459 Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Excellent poem!!! Very creative...who would of thought of Santa's name backwards...being the name of his arch nemesis. hahaha.

Lovely flow to it as well. I read some of the comments, and I know how sometimes a poem just flows like water. I haven't seen your work before this, but I'll keep an eye out for you now. B-)

Congrats on a well-deserved DD, Louise!!!! :D
squeezelouise Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you! Haha, it was just meant to be like a parallel - similar but bad so it seemed right.

Aww, that's so kind! Usually I have to put in a lot of effort to write things, but on this it really did just flow. I think you can tell when you read it back. :) And oof, thank you! I tend to fly under the radar a lot but I'm flattered you'll be keeping a look-out :love:

Thank you!!
Zerlanar Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012  Student Artist
Very creative. I really like it.
squeezelouise Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks! :D
ProofrockPilchard Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
This is brilliant, my friend! Thank you for making me laugh. :lmao:
squeezelouise Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Yay! You are more than welcome :heart: Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment <3
ProofrockPilchard Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
The pleasure is mine. :)
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